The Most Interesting Person in the World

Public Service Announcement for the Boring Community

Posted on: September 5, 2011

Do you spend more than half of your free time either online or under the influence of drugs or alcohol?

Does your entire group of friends have more commonalities than things that make each member unique?

Do you balk at the idea of seeing a movie that hasn’t been Hollywood-approved?

Hi, my name is Lauren, and I’m here to help. I don’t want to startle you, but you may suffer from Normal Disease. Two-thirds of all North Americans suffer from this lifelong affliction. Symptoms include a boring life, low morale, job dissatisfaction, and nothing to remember you by when you’re gone. Often people who suffer from Normal Disease choose to spend their time escaping reality, whether under the influence of drugs, alcohol, unconsciousness, watching tv, movies, or absorbing things on the internet. While they can sometimes appreciate the efforts of Interesting People, they often don’t become one, for fear of failing, or because they are too comfortable in their unhappy lives, because they are afraid of what their friends might think, or because they think it would be too much effort.

Luckily, Boring Disease is not fatal, though it may result in living death. I have very good news for you. There is a cure.

Scientists have been working round-the-clock in efforts to save people like you from drowning in your own typicality. They have come up with steps you can take toward increasing your confidence, morale, love life, maturity, and general sense of happiness in the world.

1. Step outside of your comfort zone. Travel somewhere foreign that doesn’t involve a hotel. Spend time in nature. Watch an experimental film. Do something potentially embarrassing. Go somewhere that you might meet people completely unlike your friends, family members, and the boring people you tend to spend time with.

2. Find a hobby. Don’t be afraid if it is something your friends might not approve of. It might even be an obscure hobby, that doesn’t involve buying things. Revel in it. Learn as much as you can about it. Don’t worry if this might seem like a weird or nerdy way to spend your time. If discussing this hobby makes the light in your eyes twinkle, then please, please engage in it.

3. Find someone, or a group of people, who is out of the ordinary. This can be a weird uncle, that coworker everyone is slightly afraid of, or that local celebrity you think you’re not cool enough to talk to. Or it can be the kind of people who go to Pagan festivals in the forest, or who spin fire in Bellevue Park, or who put on variety shows. Once you have latched on to the type of people who think outside the box and develop their brains or abilities, learn everything you can from them. Get them excited about what they do. (Flattery may be a door-opener, but don’t harp on it for too long). Their excitement is contagious.

4. Spend more time with yourself. Yes, really. You are interesting, even if you don’t know it yet. Turn off your computer, take your hand out of your pants, and clear thoughts of worries and external influences. Don’t worry, those things will still be there when you’re done. Now, try to think about things you don’t usually think about. What makes you truly happy? What are your earliest influences? What lingering childhood issues still affect you? What is your opinion of the way the world works? If things were different, what could the world look like? What would an economy look like if it didn’t have money? What if fashion weren’t determined by an industry, but by you and your friends? What would clothing look like if it were designed by animals? Or made to look like furniture? If you met God in an elevator, what would you say? How would you even know if you had? Has anything supernatural ever happened to you?

5. Do something creative. Write. Paint. Improvise. Sing. Dance. Talk to a plant. Work on your manifesto. Produce something that you could show, share with, or perform for your friends.

There are many things you can do to help yourself, and fellow zombies, lead rich and fulfilling lives. We at Laurentina’s Improv Club are just one of many groups out there to help.

Please get the boost your life so desperately needs. There is a cure for Normal Disease. Together, we can fight this.

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