The Most Interesting Person in the World

Hi. My name is Simon, and I like to draw objects.

Sometimes I draw graphic scenes of violence and murder, burning hands and crying tears and people locked up in stocks while onlookers throw eggs and tomatoes.

Other times I draw Pretty Princesses in bikinis, assaulting each other and freezing in the -4 degree temperature, shivering and blue.

My psychiatrist doesn’t like those pictures. She likes it when I draw things that don’t move. So I draw things that don’t move.

She doesn’t know it, but I draw pictures of her, after an evil Sorcerer turns her into a bowl of peaches. She is screaming in pain.

Little Froggie, Little Froggie, do you see me?

Or are you just staring at your own reflection?

Is it only cause you’re lonely, that you stare at me?

Or are you trying to be your own Mona Lisa art?

Many dreams have been brought to your water-cage.

They just lie there, but sometimes, get kicked up with the gravel.

Are you warm-blooded, are you cold-blooded, Little Froggie?

Or just a lonely, lovely, motionless, piece of art?

(Thanks to Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, aka Iz, for bringing the song “Mona Lisa” into my head tonight)