The Most Interesting Person in the World

Did you forget about Mother’s Day, too?

Posted on: May 9, 2010

It’s an annual tradition. This morning, I dreamed all the mothers in my family–mom, aunts, grandmothers, family friends even–showed up on my lawn in a flash mob, ceremoniously granting each other cards, cooing and cawing over their sweet messages. Everybody obsesses over these cards.

Everybody except me. I think cards are stupid. I already give you one for your birthday (if you remind me enough times…) Do I really need one for every anniversary, graduation, and holiday–religious, national, and, now, cultural? What happened to the days when it was cute that I could spit up on myself? Where’s my card for waking up this morning?

Well, in honour of Mother’s Day (and the fact that I didn’t get ANYBODY a card this year), I cobble together, just for you, things found on various cards already out there.


M is for the many times you’ve hugged me,

Because you’re special, and no one is quite like you.

Sometimes you get discouraged Because I am so small

I’m going to bake a cake with all my love inside

And that’s what makes a friend like you a great Mom as well! Happy Mother’s Day!

I wanted to make you something special. But you already are!

And always leave my fingerprints On furniture and walls

Mom, I am so glad that I have you!

You’re like marzipan, only sweeter!

I cough up hairballs that remind me of you.


(For those of you who have also failed in your daughterly duties: feel free to e-mail this link to your mom. Surely, she will love you for it!

You’re welcome.)


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