The Most Interesting Person in the World

Leave a Message

Posted on: April 25, 2010

“Hello. You have reached my voicemail. Which is odd… because I always have my phone on me, and it’s not like I’m doing anything. Most likely, I’m just avoiding your call. Anyway, leave a message with plenty of information, and I’m sure I’ll get back to you soon.”

“Hi, and welcome to the first official meeting of The Society for Not Hanging Up on Lauren’s Voicemail. First item of business… the club handshake! (pause) Now, on to the crux of your membership: leaving a message.”

“Hi. You have reached my voicemail, so if that’s what you were trying to do, congratulations. You’ve accomplished at least one thing today. Make a wish, and if you leave a message after the beep, it will come true in exactly 72 hours. However… if you hang up without leaving a message, terrible things will happen to you and your loved ones, including your goldfish, and 72 baby snails, and every e-mail you ever send me. Are you ready with your wish? Enter it… Now.”


3 Responses to "Leave a Message"

Does that mean you are avoiding me when you don’t pick up my calls? I hope it’s the truth when you say you didn’t hear the phone ring

No, no, no, Jenny. When YOU call, it’s because I didn’t hear the phone ring.

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