The Most Interesting Person in the World

Food, Glorious Food

Posted on: April 8, 2010

As you may or may not be able to tell from my slowly emaciating figure (please don’t compliment me when you see me; it’s not the flattering thing you imagine) I have a problem with overeating. And being constantly offered food by people who love me and love making food, doesn’t help. No, wait; yes, it does.

This past Passover was that scenario, in excess. After the two glorious Seders (big ceremonial Passover meals) at my parents’ place, my parents took my Bubie off to Florida for a few days. Fearing that my food supply was gone (I live with my grandmother, and she cooks so much I couldn’t go hungry if I tried), I took home a good portion of the leftovers. What I wasn’t thinking about at the time was this: of the 8 days of Passover, and 6 days my family was out of town, 4 were Yom Tov and 1 was Shabbat. What that means for those 5 days is that having a big meal for every meal is a big deal. And my boyfriend set us up for big meals for almost every lunch and dinner. So I was to be well fed. And as for the day or two when I would eat from my own fridge, nobody within walking distance (including my boyfriend) can eat my food. So it was all up to me.

By my first meal at home, I was already panicking. I had to debate: between the brisket, soft-boiled eggs, gefilte fish, beets, chicken soup, matzah balls, extra boxes of matzah, bitter herbs, watermelon, cantaloupe, sticky chicken, and leftover wings, rice, and vegetables in the fridge; which would go bad first? (In the end, I was partly wrong; turns out peeled soft-boiled eggs need to be eaten immediately, and with many tears, (not saltwater,) I had to throw 2 of them away.) Matzah, which was supposed to be the highlight of this festival, because of its longevity, never got eaten at my house. That I will have the pleasure of eating for months to come.

On Thursday I went to my parents’ house. They had most of the same leftovers, but also turkey, squashed sweet potatoes, asparagus and other veggies, pineapple, and more fruit. Whatever I couldn’t eat I tried to freeze, but unfortunately forgot about the brisket, and also let the pineapple go bad. That smells ew.

Friday night I had a big dinner at Motti’s mom’s. This gave us more yummy leftovers, but at least those would go to Motti, so someone other than me would be around to eat it. That morning, after my breakfast of yummy Passover cereal and much fruitage, I didn’t want much of a lunch before dinner. But I had no choice. I cannot let food go bad. So, for my first lunch, I started with chicken soup, matzah balls, and some of the rotting carrots and celery from the fridge. To that I added the horseradish, both the grated and the chunks, and then the red jarred stuff, cause I saw someone at the Seder do it and it turned out to be a good idea. I also added beets, which forever altered the colour of the soup. Then the rest of the leftovers from before Passover (I won’t tell you what, though, because depending on your tradition, you may not consider it Passover food.) Needless to say, I was so full from this massive stew, I didn’t want to think about food for a while.

Then, it was time for my second lunch.

After a Shabbat full of more yumminess, Sunday was my big day. My last day before more big meals, before my Bubie would return. By the end of Sunday, whatever I didn’t eat would get frozen or thrown out. I had to be strategic. Over breakfast, I planned out how I would eat my way through lunch, before the big dinner that night.

That was until the phone rang. My Nana called. She doesn’t often invite me over for lunch (she’s not often in town to begin with), so this was something I shouldn’t merely dismiss. First I spent 20 minutes talking about how today is almost the only day I’m able to do things (phone calls, e-mails, even think about work…) so I really want to maximize my time doing things, and not going out. Then I spent 20 minutes explaining my food situation. Then she asked again if she could make me a bubbeleh or something. “Okay,” I relented. “I’ll come over for matzah brie.” No matter the circumstance, I can’t turn down a free meal.

That night, I was so not hungry. Motti and I went to another big, fabulous meal. I could barely eat. But I did anyway, because it was delicious. And did I mention I have an overeating problem?

The next morning, when I wasn’t hungry, I was excited. Finally, I’ve reached the wall. I’m like a lion. A lion eats such a big meal of meat that it has to sleep for 23 hours just to digest. (I think.) Some carnivores, like alligators (I think), only eat a few times a year, cause it’s so much when they do eat that it satisfies for a long time. (Warning: Consult an encyclopedia before trying to impress your friends with facts you learned from off the top of Lauren’s head.) Maybe it can be like that for me, too. I have now eaten enough, I reasoned, that I can live off very little food for the next little while. So I ate a small breakfast, just an apple and some cheese. It seemed filling at the time.

Then we were at Shul, and got caught up in conversations, and didn’t make it to Kiddush (the endless tables of food downstairs) until almost 1. And I was HUNGRY. Had to eat something before lunch.

There goes that theory.

Now that Bubie is back, she is taking things out of the freezer and we’re going through them. Today I finished a bowl of chicken soup I started last week, and we both finally finished the brisket. And I finally got around to eating matzah sandwiches.


2 Responses to "Food, Glorious Food"

I love Lauren! = : )

I love it that she eats as slow as me, hehehe. We are always the last ones eating at any given table : )

I love it that she cares about eating healthily, and follows through by actually choosing to not eat certain things, and to eat others : )

I love it that Lauren cares a lot about not being wasteful of food : )

I love it that while Lauren definitely appreciates quality food, she is doesn’t turn her nose up at simple food, simply prepared, and simply presented in the least. She is appreciative and sweeet : )

I love feeding Lauren! : )

I love Lauren’s Bubie and the fact that she loves feeding Lauren too! : ) hehehe

I love it that Lauren loves gefilte fish, matzah balls, tzimmes, and other yiddeshe yummies, as well as Sushi… not to mention my crispy scrambled fish : )

By the way – dinner at my mom’s at 6 tomorrow night!

DUUUDE i’m so jealous. can i come over and eat with you? i have the opposite problem and i’m trying to gain weight! please have pity!

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