The Most Interesting Person in the World

Archive for March 2010

It’s a good idea that for the Jewish holiday coming up (Passover), we’re supposed to clean the house and look for crumbs anywhere one might eat. This gives me the chance to do some of that cleaning I never would have done otherwise. Today I checked under the couch cushions and found the strangest thing.

I want to see if anybody can top an arm and a leg.

Just when you thought it was safe to go camping in the lake…

Little did you know, coming from the shore, is a big… scary…

(It’s not a shark, it’s not a laser-beamed piranha, it’s not a man in a Speedo. It’s a…)

GIANT CANOE!!!!

It’ll eat your children. It’ll spit out your broken heart. It’ll diminish your granola supply.

GIANT CANOE. This summer. Coming to a theatre near you.

People are always asking about me. Like it’s your business why I’m crossing the road. Do I show up at your place of work and ask, “Why does the human fill out the TPS report?” Every time I see my friends at the coop, do we exchange theories about why the person goes to the gym?

Then why do you have to be that way?

Surely, you recognize the cravings. For comfort, for camaraderie, for an excuse to stay up till 2 in the morning. For a stick of Israeli ice cream-product.

Now, all of those cravings can be satisfied in one big bite (if your jaws open that widely.) For only 3 easy payments of $9.99, you can bite into the companionship of having all your favourite friends available on the first-ever Instant Messaging program from your very own computer screen.

In your freezer.

The first bracket is thinking: Really? Do I have to lose my perfect ten?

The second bracket is thinking: I don’t want to be just like that other bracket. I hate being the middle child!

The third bracket isn’t complaining at all. That’s why it’s the bracket that will get chosen to go up on Mount Sinai.

Or something.

The fourth bracket thinks: (Be the champion of Lauren’s blog for the day by answering her skill-testing question!)

Apparently cupcakes are trendy right now. I found that out when I accompanied my dad to a talk show, and the other guest was a cupcake lady. Even then I didn’t get it, until one of the hosts commented that cupcakes have been trendy for the last few years… and suddenly it made sense why there have been all these new cupcakeries in my neighbourhood.

In whatever town this photo was taken, there was a poor, sweet, clueless young woman just like me… until the day that thing landed on a building. Then, she got it.

It is now one full year since Monday, March 9, 2009 — the day of our first drop-in improv class, then titled Gymprov. I am very excited about this anniversary (to see how I’m celebrating, click here). As well as two staff changes, a name change, a location change, and much growth, expansion, and general improvement, a lot has changed over the last year.

I am taking this opportunity to reflect on what my life looked like this day last year:

  • I did not have a blog
  • I was reading the Torah Parsha every week (I got through all 5 books of Moses! Yay me!)
  • It was Purim. I was also getting excited about Passover and spring (as I am again this year)
  • I had just started hanging out with my now-boyfriend
  • I had done my first solo birthday party shift at the company I used to work for, and was also mid-training for Special Events
  • Toronto was celebrating its 175 birthday (March 6)
  • I was enrolled in level 201 of Impatient Theatre classes
  • I had recently returned from Israel, more sure, and yet less sure, about all those Big Questions I went there to find answers for…
  • I was working towards my Professional Certificate in Communication Skills of Trinity Guildhall (which I got with flying 90s! Woo-hoo!)
  • I was still generally ashamed of my life direction (with a degree in Drama, how are you supposed to make your parents proud?)

What were you doing on this date last year?

“Betcha can’t tell a tale in under 100.”

“How much?”

“Five bucks.”

“I shot him. He lived. Now I’m in Reform School for Failures.”

“I want my $5 back.”

“You owe me ten. I told two tales.”

The weather is really starting to get warm and beautiful outside. I take back everything negative I ever said, ever.

The topic of today’s little philosophical jaunt is wealth management. No, it’s not quite that. It’s deprivation vs. excess. Or something. …Why don’t I just begin?

There is an unfortunately high number of people on this planet who live in deprivation. There are people who are so hungry they could kill a family member for a meal. There are people so worried about unemployment they wake up every morning thinking the same dreaded thoughts they were up all night thinking. There are people who don’t have the time or energy to spend a single night doing something just for the “fun” of it.

On the other end of the scale are those who have too much. For someone to have too much, really, that could only refer to money. Someone who has too much free time will engage in lots of silly things, but there’s nothing destructive in that (necessarily). Someone with too much mental energy, or who has too much fun, only brings more joy to the world. The problem is when people have too much money and not enough ethics, or taste, or restraint.

Both extremes are bad. Everyone needs to have enough to survive, enough to feel comfortable and safe in their lives, enough to feel loved and truly cared about. Also, it’s not healthy to have more than one can handle – unless one is aware of that fact, and willing to give some away, or allow others to help manage it.

I am scared of people who have too much. But I think I am starting to get over some of these issues. And I would like to call on you, dear readers, for help. As you see me become successful and famous and take in more than anyone really needs, please prevent me from getting to a place of crazy excess, bad taste, and forgetting why we’re here in the first place.

Because at the end of the day, it’s all about the music. Let’s not forget that.

Permitted

  • Cough
  • Sneeze
  • Hiccup
  • Inhale/Exhale
  • Yawn
  • Pick Ears
  • Scratch Most Places
  • Sniff
  • Gasp
  • Shake Hands
  • Adjust Clothes

Discouraged

  • Burp
  • Fart
  • Vomit
  • Yawn Loudly
  • Pick Nose
  • Scratch Private Places
  • Sniff Someone
  • Hurt Someone
  • Slap Someone’s Behind
  • Adjust Underclothes

Ambiguous

  • Blow Nose
  • Pick Belly Button
  • Cross-Gender Cheek-Kiss

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